 |
| (From the Barnardos website) |
As a young adult in New Zealand, I began noticing a new ad campaign being broadcast on television. It was to “Break the Cycle.” It referred to domestic violence and the need to end its presence in the home. My cousins would joke around with their mother whenever she threatened to give them a hiding (hit them) and say “Mum! Mum! Break the cycle!” Then they’d run away laughing. Most times she would start laughing too. My cousins and I joke about it now, but the message of breaking the cycle continues today.
When it comes to marriage, I do not have to look far for examples of transitional characters. My mother is the eldest of seven children. When she was 16, and her baby sister was 3 years old, their mother left their sickly, 65 year old father. Devastated, my mother and the older siblings had to take care of the younger three girls, and their ailing dad. To cut a long story short, my mother received a scholarship to Church College in Hawaii, but turned it down to serve a mission for the church. Her decision was deliberate, because she knew her younger siblings were watching her. Because of her decision, all five sisters served a mission and were married in the temple. As a result, I was the second of our generation of first cousins to all serve missions except for two. Temple marriage is not a question for any of us though.
My father is no less of an example as well. He was born to a mother out of wedlock. She wanted to marry my biological grandfather when she found out she was pregnant, but was forbidden by her parents. She ended up marrying another man and my father was then adopted and sealed to his grandparents. The purpose of this was so that his mother could be close enough to help raise him, but be in her own marriage with her husband and their children. My dad’s biological father lived in another country and was not close to help in his upbringing. My father was sent to Church College of New Zealand at the age of 12.
This was a new boarding school and far away from home. He said he cried and did not want to go, but he did, until he finished High School.
He decided to go on a mission and returned with honor. They met after serving their missions, dated, and sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.
 |
| Missing Grandchild #4 Christopher, and #16 Joseph |
My mother shared that she does not want any of her children or grandchildren to see the things she grew up with in her childhood, with her parents. She and my father strive together to set an example of service and love. I cannot take this for granted. They share their feelings of love and gratitude for the gospel every chance they get with each of us.
Elder Holland quoted President Kimball in his talk on Divorce, “Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage … means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.”
I know this first hand from examples close to me, and my own continuing experience. These transitional characters, my parents, made the change for good. They found a way to metabolize the poison so it did not pass down to us, their children. They definitely contributed to humanity and have already affected three generations because of it. (Carlfred Broderick, 1992). In other words, they broke the cycle.
