Eternal Families In Context...Begins with Eternal Marriage

As I watched Ryan Anderson try to share his views with Pierce Morgan and Suse Orman, I kept feeling anger build up inside of me for the lack of respect Suse Orman showed to Ryan Andersen, in spite of their differences of opinion. Having watched it a second time, I realize more than ever the words of Elder Bednar are true, “The eternal nature and importance of marriage can be fully understood only within the overarching context of the Father’s plan for His children.”

So what is the context of the Father’s plan for His children? It is to be able to participate as married man and woman in bringing God’s spirit children to earth. Elder Bednar said “marriage between a man and a woman is the authorized channel through which premortal spirits enter mortality. Complete sexual abstinence before marriage and total fidelity within marriage protect the sanctity of this sacred channel.” If we take the focus off the issues of the world for a while and hone it into our covenants, the plan of happiness comes into view.

I love President Benson’s experience about living near the Logan temple and how he learned the importance of it from his parents examples, as they prepared their clothing and went to worship at the temple. This is where the reminder of family relationships being perpetuated beyond the grave rings true. President Benson went on to say “The temple is an ever-present reminder that God intends the family to be eternal.” Heavenly Father said “This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” What’s the eternal catalyst for this work to happen? In the family unit. Elder Bednar added, “By divine design, both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.”

(Picture credit: www.mediamatters.org)

As Ryan Andersen shared with Pierce Morgan and Suse Orman, “Every marriage may not have a child, but every child has a mother and a father, and marriage is what connects the mother and father to each other for the child.” This is true, but why? The proclamation to the world on The Family states, “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

This is how we take part in our Heavenly Fathers plan, and how we become more like him. I want to be with my family forever, through temple.

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Voter's Remorse.

I remember voting for Prop. 8 in California 2008. In 2013 my heart was saddened to see broadcast on TV, just an hour and a half away, the proposition was overturned. I thought, what is the use of voting if the courts were just able to strike it down? Obergefell v. Hodges summary provided me with some relief, but God’s pattern for revealing truth through prophets leads me to raise a flag, a stand on an issue that is of the heart of the Great Plan of Happiness.

In reading opinion of the court (the majority) from Obergefell v Hodges, my heart went out to those three couples who felt discriminated against. Admittedly, at one point I could see how they should have an opportunity to be married and recognized, especially when I read: “Without the recognition, stability, and predictability marriage offers, children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser.” (Obergefell v Hodges 2015). I felt for the children. Children should never feel outcast because of the decisions of adults. I am thankful that the dissenting Justices addressed their reasonings before the majority, and so began my journey back to reality.

Back L-R Sonia Sotomayor, Stephen G. Breyer, Samuel A. Alito, and Elena Kagan
Front L-R: Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia, Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy, and Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Chief Justices (C.J.) Roberts, Scalia, and Thomas all addressed my concern about Proposition 8 being overturned. In Justice Robert’s words “For those who believe in a government of laws, not of men, the majority’s approach is deeply disheartening. Supporters of same-sex marriage have achieved considerable success persuading their fellow citizens-through democratic process- to adopt their view. That ends today. Five lawyers have closed the debated and enacted their own vision of marriage as a matter of constitutional law.” (Obergefell v Hodges 2015). I need not say more. Each of the dissenting Judges cover this in great detail, this addressed the first of my concerns. C.J.Roberts, then Elder Russell M. Nelson both address my second one, the reason why marriage between a man and a woman is essential.

C.J. Roberts (2015) repeatedly spoke to need for a mother and father to come together in marriage to protect the children, he said, “The human race must procreate to survive. Procreation occurs through sexual relations between a man and a woman. When sexual relations result in the conception of a child, that child’s prospects are generally better if the mother and father stay together rather than going their separate ways. Therefore, for the good of children and society, sexual relations that can lead to procreation should occur only between a man and a woman committed to a lasting bond.” This is a good beginning to understanding why there is a need for marriage to be between a man and a woman. For the fuller picture, God’s pattern of revealing truth to His prophets (Amos 3:7) is a blessing for all who want to understand why marriage between a man and  woman is essential.

We are blessed to have guidance on issues of the heart, because same-sex marriage is an issue of the heart. Elder Nelson (2014), an Apostle of the Lord, said “God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was He who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. It was not created by think tanks or by popular vote or by oft-quoted bloggers or by pundits. It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!” I love how he reminded us that in the beginning God created man and woman, Adam and Eve, to create families. This is the pattern for families that the Lord has given us. (2014)  I thank those dissenting Judges who saw the value in their positions as non-voted-in Justices of the Law, they have a beginning of truth in their statements. The fill in comes from those chosen by the author of the definition of marriage, the prophets.

With the dissenting Justices, and Elder Nelson’s  I add my witness that God loves all His children. We came from a Heavenly pre-earth family. Each of us chose to come to earth to gain an earthly body and to become more like our Heavenly Parents. There are more spirits waiting to come to earth to gain a body and learn from their loving earthly mothers and fathers. Anything else cannot allow us to participate fully in the great Plan of Happiness to allow the spirit children of our Heavenly Father to come to earth.

The Power of Transition!

(From the Barnardos website)

As a young adult in New Zealand, I began noticing a new ad campaign being broadcast on television. It was to “Break the Cycle.” It referred to domestic violence and the need to end its presence in the home. My cousins would joke around with their mother whenever she threatened to give them a hiding (hit them) and say “Mum! Mum! Break the cycle!” Then they’d run away laughing. Most times she would start laughing too. My cousins and I joke about it now, but the message of breaking the cycle continues today.

When it comes to marriage, I do not have to look far for examples of transitional characters. My mother is the eldest of seven children. When she was 16, and her baby sister was 3 years old, their mother left their sickly, 65 year old father. Devastated, my mother and the older siblings had to take care of the younger three girls, and their ailing dad. To cut a long story short, my mother received a scholarship to Church College in Hawaii, but turned it down to serve a mission for the church. Her decision was deliberate, because she knew her younger siblings were watching her. Because of her decision, all five sisters served a mission and were married in the temple. As a result, I was the second of our generation of first cousins to all serve missions except for two. Temple marriage is not a question for any of us though.

My father is no less of an example as well. He was born to a mother out of wedlock. She wanted to marry my biological  grandfather when she found out she was pregnant, but was forbidden by her parents. She ended up marrying another man and my father was then adopted and sealed to his grandparents. The purpose of this was so that his mother could be close enough to help raise him, but be in her own marriage with her husband and their children. My dad’s biological father lived in another country and was not close to help in his upbringing. My father was sent to Church College of New Zealand at the age of 12.

This was a new boarding school and far away from home. He said he cried and did not want to go, but he did, until he finished High School.

He decided to go on a mission and returned with honor. They met after serving their missions, dated, and sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.

Missing Grandchild #4 Christopher, and #16 Joseph

My mother shared that she does not want any of her children or grandchildren to see the things she grew up with in her childhood, with her parents. She and my father strive together to set an example of service and love. I cannot take this for granted. They share their feelings of love and gratitude for the gospel every chance they get with each of us.

Elder Holland quoted President Kimball in his talk on Divorce, “Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage … means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.”

I know this first hand from examples close to me, and my own continuing experience. These transitional characters, my parents, made the change for good. They found a way to metabolize the poison so it did not pass down to us, their children. They definitely contributed to humanity and have already affected three generations because of it. (Carlfred Broderick, 1992). In other words, they broke the cycle.