“One word
Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
That word is love.”
-Sophocles
In chapter three of “the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” by John M. Gottman, he talks about the four horsemen and predictors of divorce. These are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, harsh start ups and flooding. I have to admit that when we had to take five days and track our own interactions with these, I began feeling like my marriage was doomed for failure. Thankfully, marriage takes two, and my husband is good with trying to repair things. For a moment I felt like I was spiraling downward, emotionally, and nothing could fix it. But the minute my husband and I talked about the things I was learning, he helped me feel hopeful and loved.
Gottman talks about Positive Sentiment Override in a marriage and how basic friendship in a marriage needs to be cultivated and nurtured. 
But it was Elder Wirthlin’s words that soothed my soul. He shared the story of an elderly couple. The husband painted his blind wife’s nails a bright color so that when she put them up to her eyes, she could just see them. He did this for five years without being asked until she died. Why, because of love. He knew the pattern of love as our Heavenly Father knows. Elder Wirthlin explained, “True love lasts for forever is eternally patient and forgiving, believes, hopes and endures all things. We’re all here to experience love like this, even if we make mistakes.” I remembered then, that there might be days when we feel in despair, and when these moments come, we should take time and count our blessings. Some of those blessings could be in the form of a loved one who helps repair the sadness in your heart.
How does this relate to being your own kind of beautiful? Each marriage is different, and sometimes we think it should be rosy all the time. But when conflict or mistakes happen, a beautiful daisy, my favourite flower, or more thorns can grow from each experience depending on how we deal with it. It is the difference between letting your heart stray long enough to leave commitment, or learning a new tool to resolve feelings that you did not know how to in the past.
I started dating when I was incredibly young. I was 19 years old when we first began to show interest in Ron. Thern was 25 and basically ready for marriage. I was ready to explore college life. Neither of us were Christians, but both of us enjoyed our friendship and what became a romantic relationship—except it was not a good or healthy relationship because Ron was having an affair with my friend Ela. My immaturity and desire to explore didn’t match his readiness for marriage. We tried twice at engagement and broke it off twice. Both heartbroken by sin and what seemed like the end, we parted ways.
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