Caring and Sacrifice.

The author Tzvetan Todorov (1996) explains the difference between caring and sacrificing. He says “Caring is not to be confused with sacrifice, first because acts of sacrifice, much like those of charity, inevitably come with a certain religious coloration, while caring remains exclusively within the sphere of the human...To care about someone does not mean sacrificing one’s time and energy for that person. It means devoting them to the person and taking joy in doing so; in the end, one feels richer for one’s efforts, not poorer.”

So, can you care for someone and sacrifice for them, and still feel the type of joy he is talking about? I say yes. My mother relieved herself of some of her community titles in order to spend Saturday mornings with her 15 grandchildren. She spent a good $100 each weekend, buying food that they could cook and then eat together. This was a small sacrifice for her in order to strengthen her bonds and influence with her grandchildren. I love how Howard and Kathleen Bahr (2001) described the old theory of morality of kinship as not ‘counting the cost’ in sacrificing for one’s own. I too, have had much time spent with my grandmother, even when she would swear at my brothers for taking up her time, she would then turn to my sister and I and laugh before asking us to sit with her and pick out horses for her to place bets on. As I got older our ties grew stronger. Right before my mission she told me to go and be a strong missionary for her, then she died while I was serving. I am a better person for her sacrifice of time and love, as I know my children will be because of the sacrifices my mother is making for them.

photo credit:Forbes.com

The principles of sacrifice and caring or love apply to my marriage as well. The examples of sacrifice instill in me a need to do the same for my husband. It is a given now, that every day, I make my husband’s lunches and drive him an hour each leg, to and from work. This shortens my day quite a bit, but he loves it. He always says how it means a lot to him that we spend that much time together as a family, and that others at his work notice it too. Sacrifice and caring can go hand in hand to make us richer spiritually, and continues traditions that bind us to each other forever.